A new series of Geordie Shore started on MTV, last night.
Having banged each other senseless in the first series, you were wondering where it could go next. Greg had wisely decided not to return after the orgy that was the Magaluf trip.
Step forward two new housemates : Rebecca and Ricci, spouting the same old tired gibberish about partying and excess.
Rebecca must have spent a month in Geordie Shores version of Guantanamo Bay as she came hot off of the press all fake eyelashes, massive hair, mahogany skin and bad puns.
The guy was all massive quiff, sixpack and lamenting about how he was intending to split up the girls in the house with their boyfriends on the outside, nice!
Talking of Vicky, she made it clear on the first night she wouldn’t cheat on her bloke because he was ‘really nice’. Then, on the opening nights housewarming party, she hopped in bed with Ricci.
Meanwhile, poor Gary’s moves on other women were cramped by his on/off thing with fellow housemate Charlotte. It was his own fault, he ended up banging her in the jacuzzi on the first night after wisely telling the rest of the lads he was going to stay away from her this series, due to her being a psycho hose beast.
So, why am I watching it? Well its …. for the want of a better word brilliant car crash TV! Think Big Brother but crossed with a Roman orgy.
It is the equivilient of the North East branch of Jeremy Kyle and after the borefest that was Jersey Shore in Italy, its back to business for the hedonistic group of chlamydia seekers.